Awareness, Understanding And Reconditioning (Money Mindset Series I)
November 30, 2007
(Photo by fatmanwalking)
Do you want to be rich? Do you want lots of money?
It’s likely that 9 out of 10 people will answer ‘Yes’ to these two questions. However, do you know that only 2 out of these 9 truly believe that they want to be rich? Deep inside, The remaining 7 out of 9 people actually don’t want to be rich because they either don’t feel good about being rich OR they don’t like what is required to be rich. Essentially, their money mindset is not aligned with their financial goals. This is one key reason why so many people struggle with money.
There’s a chance that you are one of the 7 who say they want to be rich, but actually don’t want to be rich.
The first of the 5-parts Money Mindset Series is aimed to help you reveal your hidden money mindset, understand them and realign them to your financial objectives, so that you can finally stop this struggle with money.
THE POWER OF BELIEFS
First, let me explain why we need to work on your mindset.
Your physical reality is a printout of your inner world. Your beliefs and mindset are key drivers to your actions which in turn determines the results you achieve in life. Take a look at your life today, believe it or not, whatever achievements that you have now is in fact a manifestation of your beliefs up till this point in time.
MY PERSONAL STORY
Let me share with you two personal stories to illustrate my point about mindset:
- Mindset About Business - in my early years, I had never harbored any intention to be an entrepreneur or have my own business. My goal had always been to get a job, work hard, earn my promotions and climb the corporate ladder. I didn’t think that been a businessman is a good idea - I thought that most businessmen probably have to cheat or do something bad to be successful. I merely wanted to focus myself on technical skills and leave the business dealings and politics to the business folks. However, through my work experiences, I learned that no matter what role I play, learning the intricacies of business and its considerations are crucial to being successful at that role. Because of my negative mindset about business, all these years, I encountered and missed many opportunities to learn what it takes to run a good business and how running a good business can actually contribute back to the society. This consequently has also impacted my work performance as my ability to contribute and grow the business has been minimum.
- Mindset About Marketing And Promotion - I’d always told myself that I will never be a salesman. Why? Because I believe that selling and promoting requires lying to get others to buy. As such, I have always avoided selling and promoting and didn’t see any need to learn about it. However, over the years, I have learned that selling and promoting is a critical skill not only for salesman - any successful individual must also learn to sell and promote: a great visionary must promote his ideas to his followers, a great executive must sell and promote to gain stakeholders’ buy-in to an initiative, even a blogger must learn to promote his blog for traffic!
I hope my stories clarify the importance of mindset. My mindsets were not aligned with my professional goals. My negative mindsets about business and selling/promotion has hindered my growth, confined my experiences, all of which plays an important to my personal growth and professional success. Working on changing my mindset has been instrumental in changing my experiences, which is beginning to show results in recent years.
As such, to improve your chance of success at money matters and leading a balanced life, you must first work on your money mindset.
Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.
- Henry Ford
AWARENESS
The first step is to develop an awareness of your current money mindset. This is done with the following money mindset questionnaire. For each of the statements below, rate them against your beliefs as follow:
- 1 - Strongly agree.
- 2 - Agree.
- 3 - Neutral.
- 4 - Disagree.
- 5 - Strongly Disagree.
For now, you can take a quick look at the following questions to get a gist of what’s covered. I have also compiled the questions into a Money Mindset Guided Exercise in PDF format at the end of this article. To achieve the maximum results out of this, it is strongly recommended for you to print this exercise and go through it in a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed.
- Money is the root of all evil.
- It’s more enlightened to be poor than rich.
- Rich people probably had done something bad or dishonest to get their money.
- Having a lot of money will make me less spiritual or pure.
- I have to work really, really hard to get rich.
- Having a lot of money requires taking up big responsibilities.
- I don’t feel ‘good enough’ to have a lot of money.
- Realistically, chances are I’ll never be rich.
- Getting rich is a matter of luck or fate.
- Striving for wealth won’t allow much time for anything else in life.
- To be rich, you have to use people and take advantage of them.
- If I get rich, everyone will want something from me.
- If I get rich, my friends will distant themselves from me.
- Having too much money means you’re greedy.
- I’m not very good in the area of money and finances.
- You need to be really smart to manage money well.
- If I get a lot of money, I will lose them someday.
- If I really strive for wealth and don’t succeed, I’ll feel like a failure.
- I have the potential for wealth; all I need is a lucky break.
- This isn’t the right time for me to start ‘going for it’ financially.
- I don’t really want to be wealthy.
- You can’t strive for wealth and be happy and fulfilled at the same time.
- Money can cause a lot of problems.
- It’s not right to make more money than my parents.
- You can’t get rich by doing exactly what you love.
- Trying to earn money is a hassle and a struggle.
- It takes money to make money.
- Having more money equals to more happiness.
- Striving for wealth can cause stress and health problems.
- I love my family, so I should work really hard to provide for them.
- A husband and father must buy all the things the family desires to be considered a good husband/father.
- I’m too young to get rich.
- I’m too old to get rich.
- It’s more difficult for a woman to get rich.
- A woman should not have more money than her husband.
- I don’t like selling or promotion.
- Asking for money for a product or services I provide is insincere.
- I wish I never have to deal with money.
- I don’t enjoy managing money.
- Investing is gambling.
- I don’t need to manage my money because I hardly have any.
- I’m not educated enough to have more wealth.
- Most of the good opportunities are gone.
- Given my past, it would be difficult for me to get rich.
- Even if it means spending all my money, it is important to look successful by wearing branded goods and driving posh cars.
- Money corrupts artistic and creative endeavors.
- It is not right for me to be rich while others have nothing.
- Financial security comes from having a good job and a steady paycheck.
- If you are not born rich, chances are you will never be rich.
- Rich people aren’t happy.
- If success comes easy, it’s not as worthwhile.
- I’m too busy to put time and energy into learning about money.
- I have some resentment towards extremely wealthy people.
- I’m a good giver, but not a good receiver.
- Other people’s opinions of me are important.
- It’s more secure to get paid a flat salary than to be paid on a commission basis.
- If you’re rich in love, health and happiness, you don’t need money.
- I can make it on my own. I don’t need help from others.
- If I ask for help, people will think that I’m weak.
- The only reason to work is to make money.
- Once I have a lot of money, I’ll finally feel secure.
- By being rich, I’ll prove myself.
- Only the rich need to manage their money.
- God will make me rich, poor or middle-class.
- The investment world is complicated and hard to understand.
- If I work really hard and put all my efforts into my job, I will definitely be promoted and rich one day.
- Investments are for people who have a lot of money.
- People will not respect me if I am (or appear to be) not rich.
- Most investments, other than the bank, are too risky.
- Money isn’t really that important.
Once you are done with the questionnaire, take a look at your answers and review those that are rated 1 i.e. ‘Strongly Agree’. There is a good chance that these are your money mindsets that are preventing you from taking actions towards financial success.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR MONEY MINDSET
The next step after you are aware of your money mindsets is to understand where these mindsets came from. Understanding the basis of your beliefs is critical to rationalizing why it is no longer relevant and then to disassociate from it.
Most of these mindsets may be instilled into you when you were young, so its advisable to relate your money mindset back to your childhood days to look for clues and understand how they have come about.
- Verbal Repetitions - as a child, you may have heard many comments about money. Some of these comments may have unknowingly become part of your money mindset without you realizing it. Comments like ‘money is the root of all evil’, ’salesmen are liars’ are commonly reinforced into our mindsets through verbal repetitions when we were young.
- Parents - your parents may have far more influences on you than you realized. Chances are the way you handle money is either identically or exactly opposite to one or a combination of both your parents. Their money habits contributes a lot to our money mindset. If the parents are exuberant in spending, there is a high chance for a child to be either an extreme spendthrift or stingy later in life.
When I was young, my parent had the habit of buying lottery and promising to buy me gifts when the lottery is struck. Well, all these years, the lottery dream never come true. Thank God for this, because I have learned to never depend on luck for financial success.
- Incidents - Strong emotional incidents involving money may also be imprinted into your money mindset. One childhood experience I had was being bullied by my neighbors when trying to share their toys. Since then, it has impacted upon me to depend on myself to achieve the things that I want. This mindset has served me well in some cases, but it has also deterred me from enjoying the benefits of teamwork sometimes.
I have included in the Money Mindset Guided Exercise a section to help you identify the sources of your money mindset.
DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE FOR MONEY
As mentioned earlier, 9 out of 10 people will say ‘Yes’ to wanting more money. However, not many people truly knows WHY they want more money. Money means different things to different people, however, one thing is common: money is seldom the end in itself, money is only the means to the ends that we seek.
To illustrate my point:
- To a loving mother - money can mean a better livelihood for her children.
- To an ambitious young man - money can mean an external reflection of his achievements, and means to get him more respect.
- To a philanthropist - money can mean the spiritual fulfillment he enjoys when he gives to others.
The list can go on, but I hope you see my point - everyone seeks money, but you also need to understand the purpose for seeking money. That purpose is the true purpose that you are pursuing, not money. Blindly chasing money as an end to itself has led to many wild-goose chase and unfulfilling life.
I have included in the Money Mindset Guided Exercise a section to help you identify your purpose for money.
The bigger the ‘why’ the easier the ‘how’.
- Jim Rohn
ALIGN YOUR MONEY MINDSET TO YOUR PURPOSE
Now that you are aware of your money mindset and your purpose for money, it is time to see if your money mindset is aligned with what you are trying to achieve financially. If they are not, then you have to correct your non-supportive money mindset.
- Disassociate From Non-supporting Beliefs - the only reason you believe what you believe is because it had credibility from past information and programming, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is still relevant today. The idea is to re-examine your beliefs based on who you are today and who you want to be tomorrow. If your current beliefs is not helping you to get to where you want to be tomorrow, it no longer holds any credibility or relevance.
- Instill Supporting Beliefs - the next step is to instill new beliefs that are supporting and aligned with your purpose, what you want to be now and tomorrow. Once you start to instill new beliefs, be aware of the changes to your emotions, actions the next time an issue about the same money mindset arise. Notice how the differences in your thoughts and emotions are driving your actions and hence the results.
WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE
Congratulations on taking the first step to revamping your money mindset and aligning them to your goals. The next step is for you to print out the Money Mindset Guided Exercise and have some quiet time of 15 to 20 minutes to go through the guided exercise. Once you are done, you will have set the stage for more positive actions.
Having said that, I like to warn you that beliefs structures don’t change overnight. Your beliefs has taken many years since your childhood to form, and it will be unrealistic to change them in a very short time. In fact, if you are still skeptical about this, you don’t have to start reconditioning your mindset. Just be aware of your existing mindsets and you will see if they are helping/hindering you over time, then take it from there to do the reconditioning as required.
Another advice is to read widely about your goals and objectives, and understand what is required to achieve them. From there, non-supportive mindsets will surface and you will be able to recondition from there. You just have to bear an open-minded attitude while learning and things will simply fall into place over time.
Essentially, this is not an exercise that can be rushed. So be patient with yourself.
In part 2 of Money Mindset Series, I will be talking about the old school money thinking, and how this money mindset is actually not helping us to achieve a balanced life. So stay tuned for it!
If you have any questions about your money mindset, I will be happy to share my two cents worth with you. Simply drop a comment in the comments section or contact me via the contact form, and I will get back to you shortly.
Excellent start to the series, Lawrence! This is really wonderful stuff. It’s amazing how we often send out mixed signals into the Universe (”I want money and I don’t deserve it”). So I appreciate how you pointed out that, while most people say they would love to have lots of money, most people don’t actually have an openness to receive financial abundance into their lives. Your survey is a great way of exploring the underlying mindset that governs our relationship with money.
Thank you!
Andrea
Hi Andrea,
I really like the way you have translated my perspective into a more ’spiritual form’, true to your style. Great going!
Wow Lawrence, that’s a great post! I used to have the exact two same mindsets from your examples… setting the mindset is really the most important step and you made an excellent choice of bringing it to light first in your series. Looking forward to the next ones!
I just printed out the self-assessment and will definitely fill it soon. Thanks you for this great tool!
Haha! Luciano,
it’s such a coincidences that we have the same mindsets. It gives me assurance that this is not uncommon and I hope it does for you too.
In any way, we can definitely adjust this mindset and harness them to better uses that are aligned with our financial goals. Good luck on your efforts!
Great article for self-examination. I’ll have to go over it again. I’m looking for the next post in this series.
Hi JBlu,
thanks for the encouragement, and I hope this is helpful to you as well. Feel free to pass the exercise to any friends who you think can benefit from this.
I learned this from books and seminars that cost me some money and it’s been life changing. I just hope to pass the good stuff around so that more people benefit from it.
hmm… why does this post reminds me so much about T. Harv Ecker? ;D
Hi Guan70,
You’re right, a large portion of this exercise is derived from Harv’s work. So it’s no surprise to see similarities.
I suppose you’ve read his work or is a fan of his then? I also like to recommend that you read other great authors like Adam Khoo, Robert Kyosaki, Peter Lynch and Napoleon Hill. Their work have been instrumental in shaping my money mindset and coming out with this series.
Yeah i’ve been fans of of Harv Ecker (just went to his seminar recently), Adam Khoo, etc. for years. Got most of their book too. 1st two authors who got me started on personal development are Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill.
Anyway great job on the article. Might want to convert it into a ebook when its complete.
Hi Guan70,
I guess that everyone of us needs someone or some book to start us off on this journey of personal development. I’m glad yours have started. I’m sure you will feel as I do, that this journey is worthwhile and has been life-changing.
E-book, that’s quite an idea. Although I have to admit that I haven’t really thought about this. I’m pretty new to blogging and isn’t really good where it comes to monetizing it. Any tips for me to take along?
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Great series Lawrence, and a great beginning.
I completely relate to your personal stories. Due to the environment I grew up in, I too automatically assumed that “gainful employment” was my future path in life for the longest time. Only in my case, I learnt that I was mistaken while I was still in college and decided to start with freelancing the moment I graduated. But, I do feel that I still have a bit of an internal struggle with my old and deep-seated beliefs about the virtues of employment.
The same goes for the belief that I am bad at “sales” and just generally not a “people person”. If I think about this logically, based on present experience, I know that neither of those are strictly true. But as you rightly point out, habitual thoughts can’t be gotten rid of over night. These are issues I still wrestle with in the hope that one day my new thoughts on these matters will become my new habit.
Hi Samir,
Thanks for sharing your personal perspectives as well. It certainly looks like this type of mindset is more common than I first anticipated.
BTW, how did you learn to “correct” your mindset while still in college? Was there any turn of events in your life that caused it?
On struggling with your mindset, don’t worry too much about it. Old habits die hard. In fact, some never go away. I still find myself falling back into old thinkings sometimes as well. However, once you have the awareness, it’s always much easier now to ‘tune’ ourselves back.
Take care and hope to see you around.