(Photo by aloshbennett)
Don’t aim at success–the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run–in the long run, I say–success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.
-Viktor Frankl
Before we talk about how to become a Career Lover and aligning three dimensions of Passion, Talents and Practicality, I feel that it is important to clarify one important concept - success.
Ultimately, you want to be successful in your work and life. But do you really know what is the success that you striving for? What if the success that you’re working so hard for does not provide lasting happiness or satisfaction?
OUR MINDSET OF SUCCESS
When we speak of successful professionals, we’ll often come up with names like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jack Welch, Ray Croc, Andrew Carnegie etc…
All these successful people have the following commonalities:
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Wealth - much more than they ever need in their entire lifetime.
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Fame - the media talks about them, everyone knows who they are.
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Status - highly respected, aspired and sought-after.
As such, the society has unknowingly associated success with attributes of wealth, fame and status. Even Merriam-Webster defines success as:
the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.
WHAT IF YOUR LADDER OF SUCCESS IS LEANING AGAINST THE WRONG WALL
Why do so many people want to be rich? To many of them, being rich and famous is equal to being successful.
Well, there is actually nothing wrong with being rich and famous. However, it has occurred to me that many of us pursue wealth, fame and status as an end to itself. Simply because the society-at-large has connoted wealth, fame and status as success.
This is a dangerous misconception .
I don’t normally read the tabloids. However, it’s not hard to notice news of young celebrities who constantly get into troubles in their life. They got rich and famous at a fairly young age and should be considered successful. Yet they constantly have difficulties getting a hang of their own life.
I may be wrong, but chances are their ladder of success are leaning against the wrong wall. They have mistaken wealth and fame as being successful. Yet they cannot deny the emptiness they feel inside, and try to fill it up with the money and status that they have. They try to buy their happiness, seek attention by doing radical things… and end up getting into more troubles each time.
THE TRUE SUCCESS THAT EVERYONE IS REALLY LOOKING FOR
If being rich and famous is not success, then what is true success? I first understood success when I came across Marlow and his Hierarchy of Needs concept.
According to Mallow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we have different levels of desires/needs as shown:
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Each level represents a common group of needs or desires.
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The most basic needs start from the bottom and move towards the top.
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Lower level needs must be fulfilled first before higher levels of needs become desired. For example, lack of friendship is less of a concern when you don’t even have food to eat.
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Once a lower level need is satisfied, you will no longer desire it. Instead, you will start to desire the next level of needs. For example, once a person has enough money to buy himself a home (security needs), food and water, then oneliness due to lack of family and friends may become a concern. A lot of money problems today are due to those who try to buy higher level of needs (e.g. friendship, love and respect) by using money. Those are just futile stop-gap measures that don’t achieve lasting satisfaction.
Marlow claimed that the highest level of need is the ultimate satisfaction that we all seek - it’s Self-actualization .
Self actualization is the instinctual need of humans to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can.
He also stated that self-actualizers are interested in solving problems, which often include the problems of others. Solving problems (and contributing) is often a key focus in their lives.
Maslow is trying to say is that underneath all complex human behaviors and diversity of what we want, all of us really want just one thing - the feeling that you make a difference; a sense of worthiness that your life means something.
NEW DEFINITION OF SUCCESS - MEANINGFUL WORK
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Like what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, true happiness comes from knowing that your work has made some difference.
Have you ever had that warm fuzzy feeling whenever your efforts have impacted others positively without expecting anything in return? Well, that is the satisfaction that I’m talking about; that is the true happiness that all of us are looking for - a sense of worthiness, of being useful and a testimony your life in this world.
Now imagine that your career, your daily work allows you to have this sense of satisfaction. Imagine you are driven to work because you know that your work makes a difference.
This is true success, because ultimately what we are looking for is a sense of meaning. When you achieve your highest potential and contribute that potential to make a positive difference, you will feel fulfilled and successful.
There is no social yardstick to measure against, because that sense of satisfaction comes from inside you.
WEALTH AND STATUS ARE SIMPLY SIDE-EFFECTS, REALLY.
Like what Viktor Frank said at the beginning of this article, if you do meaningful work that contributes, side-benefits like wealth and fame will come eventually.
The ironic of life is that if you pursue wealth and fame as an end to itself, the more they will elude you because you are not coming from the motivation of contribution. However, if you contribute to a cause that you believe in, you will stand a better chance of becoming rich and famous.
Here’s some examples of side-effects of contributions:
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Nike, Just Do It - Nike’s founder Bill Bowerman started off as a track coach. He was looking for ways to help his athletes improve and later discovered that synthetic rubber soles make better running shoes. He started Nike Inc. because he couldn’t find a company to mass produce those shoes. Bill only wanted to improve athlete performances but his contributions grew into a globally renowned brand name and multi-billion business as you know it today.
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How to Win Friends and Influence People - Do you know that author of this famous work, Dale Carnegie was actually an intensely shy man who never completely overcame his fear of public speaking? He first learned to build self-confidence to improve himself, but he gained so much out of it that he wanted to share his insights by authoring a book. The book has since sold more than 50 million copies, making Dale Carnegie a very rich and famous man.
WHAT MILLIONAIRES REALLY WANT
When discussing Can Money Buy Happiness, I highlighted an interview with a group of 6 multi-millionaires. During the interview, when they were asked what they want to be remembered for when they die, they wanted to be remembered for being a good husband/wife, father/mother or son/daughter.
Actually, there was a second part to their answers. They also want to be remembered for the good that their work has created .
One of the millionaires who is a fund manager mentioned that he was running a fund which invested in companies in developing countries. These companies created jobs for street children, many of which are orphans. This fund also contributed to poor countries in building their infrastructures and improving the standard of living through job creation and education.
It was very meaningful work to him and I saw tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke about the positive impact that his work has made. He even choked on his words a few times as he spoke.
Obviously doing meaningful work was more important to him than being a millionaire. That to him - is success.
LIVE AND WORK MEANINGFULLY - EASIER SAID THAN DONE
I don’t think what I’m saying is very new to many of you. But look around you; if most of us wants success, why is it that so many people are not doing meaningful work? From my observations, it’s actually easier said than done, and I empathize with those who are still sitting on the fence. Why?
One reason is because many people don’t even have their lower level needs like money sorted out yet. That’s why I started the Money Mindset Series. I hope that people recognize that when you don’t manage your money well, you prevent yourself from moving up the hierarchy to higher levels of needs.
Even if you manage your money well, there’s still other hurdles to overcome. Here’s some commons ones I hear from people when I advocate meaningful work:
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What is the passionate and meaningful work for me? How do I find it?
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Even if I find it, how do I make a living out of it?
In the remaining parts of the Career Lover Series, I will be sharing more of my thoughts and insights on living a meaningful and successful life and try to answer some of the above questions.
Meanwhile, I hope this new outlook of success serves as a good food-for-thought for you. As the New Year is around the corner, it may be a good time to think about what wall is your ladder of success leaning against. Is it a wall that you want? If not, this may be a good time to move to a new wall.
If you have any questions about success, feel free to share them in the comments.
“However, if you contribute to a cause that you believe in, you will stand a better chance of becoming rich and famous”
I do contribute with my work. The most satisfaction comes from my hobby, where I can contribute even more. I have definitely had the encridible feeling that I have made a difference.
However I do not want to be rich and definitely not famous!
I agree with Patricia, you don’t have to be rich or famous if you don’t want to. You can definitely be successful without wealth and fame. I apologize if my message may seem that way.
I think being a teacher certainly makes it easier to derive a sense of meaning out of your work. I’m not saying it’s easy work, but you are certainly in a better position to see the direct impact of your work on children. I believe that gives you a huge sense of contribution and you can definitely be so proud of that. I am.
As compared to someone who works 9 to 5 in the office, typing documents and presenting to clients (like me), it takes a little more effort to appreciate how these mundane work actually contributes to a better world.
So be proud of what you do. I guess that is all there is to it. When you see the fruits of your work and impact on children, then fame and wealth no longer becomes an issue. You don’t even desire it anymore because you have something so much more meaningful.
Leena, if you don’t want to be rich and famous, you won’t be. Your intention will make sure of that. I want to have enough money to do the things that I want when I want to do them. I don’t want the responsibility that goes along with being rich. I have carried responsibility on my shoulders since I was a very young child. I won’t add to the load. In fact, I havw worked at lightening that load by setting boundaries and giving back the responsibility that rightfully belonged to others. Bottom line, money won’t make you happy if the rest of your life is screwed up.
“if you don’t want to be rich and famous, you won’t be. Your intention will make sure of that.”
“Bottom line, money won’t make you happy if the rest of your life is screwed up.”
Thanks Patricia, there’s so much wisdom in those words, and I honestly agree with you - money can only facilitate a happy life; if one is an incomplete person to start with, then no amount of money can make it complete.
It seems like you’re one who has also found meaning in your work. What do you do and what satisfaction do you derive from it?
Lawrence, I have been blessed in that I don’t have to work all the time. My husband owns his own parking lot striping business. I work with him parttime during the winter months when money is tight and the job is small enough that paying someone else isn’t profitable.
My satisfaction comes from my spiritual life and writing my blog. The wisdom probably comes from my age. I am probably much older than you. I just had my 56th birthday on December 11.
Hi Patricia,
Happy Belated Birthday. I don’t believe wisdom necessarily follows age, as I have seen older folks with… well, let’s just say they’re not as wise as I expect them to be.
You mentioned an important concept about responsibility. I think when we do meaningful work and we want meaningful work to impact more people, it means taking up greater responsibility.
I believe that “with great power come great responsibility.” The more people you influence, the greater your power, and as such your responsibility as well.
It’s not always a pleasant thing, as it sometimes means certain personal sacrifices on your end for the greater good of others.
As such, I can understand most people are not willing to take up this responsibility. For it implies certain lose of freedom. However, there will also be a minority few who choose to take this up for the meaning of the work that drives them.
Lawrence, thanks for the birthday wish. I agree with you that not all older people are also wise. I don’t want the responsibility that goes with being rich. I gladly take on responsibility in certain areas of my life. I don’t want to give the opinion that I shun responsibility of all kind. That would not be me at all. Being a wife, mother, and friend carry responsibilities. Writing my blog means taking on a different kind of responsibility that I have gladly taken on. There are some responsibilities that are definitely worth losing personal freedom over. Have a glorious day and 2008. Merry Christmas.
Lawrence, this is a great article. The Career Lover series is off to a solid start!
Hi Al,
Thanks. Really appreciate it. You know, I derive my satisfaction from knowing that these articles makes a positive impact on someone’s life. Even if it just triggers some thoughts, I believe that it will have laid the seed for greater positive change in time to come.
Honestly, it’s tough work to do this and still maintain a day job. However, the sense of meaning is what drives me to keep this up. So keep coming back, and throw those encouragements in! Haha!
Great start to the series, Lawrence! Just this morning, I was feeling a little burned-out - I’ve been doing a lot of sessions lately, and had one more to do to finish the week. I had just announced to my husband, who’s on vacation, that I was just not motivated today.
Then I checked my email - and there were not one but two emails from clients who were telling me how our work together has already created a profound shift for them. It brought a tear to my eye to think that I could make such a difference through my work. Needless to say, my motivation came back with a vengeance!
It truly is about making a difference - my work serves me, and serves others.
I found the comments regarding wealth and responsibility interesting. Patricia, I’m currently in this crazy phase of expansion as I’m launching a website for the Practitioners I’ve trained so far. I’m definitely feeling a new level of responsibility that I’m currently growing into. The big vision I have for this work sometimes scares me, but I feel so passionate about making it available and known in the world. Still, it’s challenging right now. Which may be why I’ve been procrastinating on getting this site fully up and running … thanks for the insight!
Blessings,
Andrea
This is it, Andrea!
This is a very good example of what I’m talking about - passion for work. Thanks for sharing this fine example.
I think having passion for meaningful work doesn’t mean that each working day is necessarily a joyous and pleasant one. However, there is always this one single aspect of it that one will find so meaningful that it sort of just overwrite every other stuff. With this, it’s like you’re running on nuclear energy - you’ll never run out of steam. Just when you think you’re almost flat, something happens and there you go again!
And about responsibility, I think that’s another important discussion. Please see my comments to Patricia.
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Very good article and an excellent application of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Glad to have found your blog!
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very useful information