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Don’t aim at success–the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run–in the long run, I say–success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.
-Viktor Frankl

Before we talk about how to become a Career Lover and aligning three dimensions of Passion, Talents and Practicality, I feel that it is important to clarify one important concept - success.

Ultimately, you want to be successful in your work and life. But do you really know what is the success that you striving for? What if the success that you’re working so hard for does not provide lasting happiness or satisfaction?

OUR MINDSET OF SUCCESS

When we speak of successful professionals, we’ll often come up with names like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jack Welch, Ray Croc, Andrew Carnegie etc…

All these successful people have the following commonalities:

• Wealth - much more than they ever need in their entire lifetime.
• Fame - the media talks about them, everyone knows who they are.
• Status - highly respected, aspired and sought-after.

As such, the society has unknowingly associated success with attributes of wealth, fame and status. Even Merriam-Webster defines success as:

the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

WHAT IF YOUR LADDER OF SUCCESS IS LEANING AGAINST THE WRONG WALL

Why do so many people want to be rich? To many of them, being rich and famous is equal to being successful.

Well, there is actually nothing wrong with being rich and famous. However, it has occurred to me that many of us pursue wealth, fame and status as an end to itself. Simply because the society-at-large has connoted wealth, fame and status as success.

This is a dangerous misconception .

I don’t normally read the tabloids. However, it’s not hard to notice news of young celebrities who constantly get into troubles in their life. They got rich and famous at a fairly young age and should be considered successful. Yet they constantly have difficulties getting a hang of their own life.

I may be wrong, but chances are their ladder of success are leaning against the wrong wall. They have mistaken wealth and fame as being successful. Yet they cannot deny the emptiness they feel inside, and try to fill it up with the money and status that they have. They try to buy their happiness, seek attention by doing radical things… and end up getting into more troubles each time.

THE TRUE SUCCESS THAT EVERYONE IS REALLY LOOKING FOR

If being rich and famous is not success, then what is true success? I first understood success when I came across Marlow and his Hierarchy of Needs concept.

According to Mallow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we have different levels of desires/needs as shown:

• Each level represents a common group of needs or desires.
• The most basic needs start from the bottom and move towards the top.
• Lower level needs must be fulfilled first before higher levels of needs become desired. For example, lack of friendship is less of a concern when you don’t even have food to eat.
• Once a lower level need is satisfied, you will no longer desire it. Instead, you will start to desire the next level of needs. For example, once a person has enough money to buy himself a home (security needs), food and water, then oneliness due to lack of family and friends may become a concern. A lot of money problems today are due to those who try to buy higher level of needs (e.g. friendship, love and respect) by using money. Those are just futile stop-gap measures that don’t achieve lasting satisfaction.

Marlow claimed that the highest level of need is the ultimate satisfaction that we all seek - it’s Self-actualization .

Self actualization is the instinctual need of humans to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can.

He also stated that self-actualizers are interested in solving problems, which often include the problems of others. Solving problems (and contributing) is often a key focus in their lives.

Maslow is trying to say is that underneath all complex human behaviors and diversity of what we want, all of us really want just one thing - the feeling that you make a difference; a sense of worthiness that your life means something.

NEW DEFINITION OF SUCCESS - MEANINGFUL WORK

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, true happiness comes from knowing that your work has made some difference.

Have you ever had that warm fuzzy feeling whenever your efforts have impacted others positively without expecting anything in return? Well, that is the satisfaction that I’m talking about; that is the true happiness that all of us are looking for - a sense of worthiness, of being useful and a testimony your life in this world.

Now imagine that your career, your daily work allows you to have this sense of satisfaction. Imagine you are driven to work because you know that your work makes a difference.

This is true success, because ultimately what we are looking for is a sense of meaning. When you achieve your highest potential and contribute that potential to make a positive difference, you will feel fulfilled and successful.

There is no social yardstick to measure against, because that sense of satisfaction comes from inside you.

WEALTH AND STATUS ARE SIMPLY SIDE-EFFECTS, REALLY.

Like what Viktor Frank said at the beginning of this article, if you do meaningful work that contributes, side-benefits like wealth and fame will come eventually.

The ironic of life is that if you pursue wealth and fame as an end to itself, the more they will elude you because you are not coming from the motivation of contribution. However, if you contribute to a cause that you believe in, you will stand a better chance of becoming rich and famous.

Here’s some examples of side-effects of contributions:

• Nike, Just Do It - Nike’s founder Bill Bowerman started off as a track coach. He was looking for ways to help his athletes improve and later discovered that synthetic rubber soles make better running shoes. He started Nike Inc. because he couldn’t find a company to mass produce those shoes. Bill only wanted to improve athlete performances but his contributions grew into a globally renowned brand name and multi-billion business as you know it today.
• How to Win Friends and Influence People - Do you know that author of this famous work, Dale Carnegie was actually an intensely shy man who never completely overcame his fear of public speaking? He first learned to build self-confidence to improve himself, but he gained so much out of it that he wanted to share his insights by authoring a book. The book has since sold more than 50 million copies, making Dale Carnegie a very rich and famous man.

WHAT MILLIONAIRES REALLY WANT

When discussing Can Money Buy Happiness, I highlighted an interview with a group of 6 multi-millionaires. During the interview, when they were asked what they want to be remembered for when they die, they wanted to be remembered for being a good husband/wife, father/mother or son/daughter.

Actually, there was a second part to their answers. They also want to be remembered for the good that their work has created .

One of the millionaires who is a fund manager mentioned that he was running a fund which invested in companies in developing countries. These companies created jobs for street children, many of which are orphans. This fund also contributed to poor countries in building their infrastructures and improving the standard of living through job creation and education.

It was very meaningful work to him and I saw tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke about the positive impact that his work has made. He even choked on his words a few times as he spoke.

Obviously doing meaningful work was more important to him than being a millionaire. That to him - is success.

LIVE AND WORK MEANINGFULLY - EASIER SAID THAN DONE

I don’t think what I’m saying is very new to many of you. But look around you; if most of us wants success, why is it that so many people are not doing meaningful work? From my observations, it’s actually easier said than done, and I empathize with those who are still sitting on the fence. Why?

One reason is because many people don’t even have their lower level needs like money sorted out yet. That’s why I started the Money Mindset Series. I hope that people recognize that when you don’t manage your money well, you prevent yourself from moving up the hierarchy to higher levels of needs.

Even if you manage your money well, there’s still other hurdles to overcome. Here’s some commons ones I hear from people when I advocate meaningful work:

• What is the passionate and meaningful work for me? How do I find it?
• Even if I find it, how do I make a living out of it?

In the remaining parts of the Career Lover Series, I will be sharing more of my thoughts and insights on living a meaningful and successful life and try to answer some of the above questions.

Meanwhile, I hope this new outlook of success serves as a good food-for-thought for you. As the New Year is around the corner, it may be a good time to think about what wall is your ladder of success leaning against. Is it a wall that you want? If not, this may be a good time to move to a new wall.

If you have any questions about success, feel free to share them in the comments.

This blog is about leading a balanced life focusing on career, relationships and money. You can read more about balancing your life here. These articles are written for you. If you find them useful, feel free to subscribe for regular updates as new articles are posted. It's FREE. :)