Do You Need Authority to Exercise Your Rights?
July 29, 2007
A few days ago, my friend went for an interview at a local MNC. At the office, she was received by a young HR executive, who led her to the meeting room for the interview. However, upon arrival at the meeting room, the HR executive saw that the meeting room was occupied by a group whose meeting was still in progress. The HR executive hesitated on interrupting the group inside and asked my friend to wait a little while for the meeting inside to finish.
After five minutes passed, my friend asked the HR executive “did you book the meeting room”?
“Yes I did,” replied the HR executive.
Then, it was obvious to my friend that the group’s meeting had overrun, and are oblivious that they are eating into someone else’s time slot. “Why don’t you knock on the door and let them know you need to use the room?”
The HR executive seemed irritated by my friend’s prompting, and looked undecidedly through the gap on the glass door, into the meeting room; afraid that she’ll draw attention to herself. Finally, after another minute of hesitation, the HR executive said “I don’t have the authority, I will get my manager here. She will have the authority to ask them to leave.”
I’m sure that your reaction is like mine when I first heard this story: totally flabbergasted. My first reaction was simply incredulous that anyone will need authority to exercise their rights to what they are entitled to (in this case, the HR executive’s room booking).
On a second thought, my astonishment turned to pity as the realization dawned upon me; for certain reasons, the HR executive feels that she is not in the position to even ask for what she is entitled to; because she is not in a position of authority or status. Simply said, she feels that she is not good enough to ask. Extrapolating this case onto our everyday life. Do you ever feel that:
- you are not deserving, because you are not good enough?
- your opinion will be not heard, because you are not in authority or of high status?
- your contribution does not matter, because you’re not knowledgeable enough?
- your effort will not make a difference to your life, because you’re not smart or capable enough?
I’m sure all of us, being humans, will have our moments of self-doubt and inadequacy. That’s normal and it is alright to have these negative feelings. However, the difference-maker of having a fulfilling life is our reactions to these self-doubts.
The differences between achievers and non-achievers are actions and delivery of results. This means you must kick yourselves into action despite self-doubt, disbelief. You must not let those negative little voices inside you, stop you from getting what you want, desire, aim for.
You must recognize that by listening to those negative voices, the only person that stands to lose is yourself. By being passive and stuck in inaction, you are depriving yourself of a chance to improve your situation. You are effectively delegating your desire, entitlements, dreams to someone else’s authority, position, power. Trying may not guarantee results; but by not even trying, you are guaranteed of failure.
Coming back to the HR executive, if she had the courage to confront the group, she may not have gotten the meeting room as desired; but she will definitely be saved of the minutes of aimless waiting. She will also be saved of the needless anxiety, mental struggle and embarrassment.
So my friend, whenever you’re in doubt, ask yourself what’s there to lose by trying. Chances are, you have more to lose by not trying than to try. There is no absolute right or wrong, just give it a shot. Who knows what you can get out of the experience?
what’s really interesting here is that most people tend to feel they have rights/authority in SOME areas but not in others - and when you take a closer look at it, the difference also has little to do with outside validation and almost everything with how the person feels inside. e.g. i know a teacher who feels 100% competent in higher math even though she only has two college courses in it but when it comes to mentoring student teachers, something she’s done for 10 years now, she still feels very insecure.
the problem is that in most cases, telling such a person that they must have courage or not listen to negative voices is not enough.