Photo by monsieur paradis

Earlier, I wrote about 7 steps to set goals effectively. Today, I like to expand on that a little.

One common challenge I have with my goals is not with setting them, it’s with sticking to my goals. After all, setting goals is only the first step. Taking action is the next step to achieving them. Setting goals without actions is only as good as daydreaming.

Depending on how big your goals are, most of these require you to spend some amount of time and effort to achieve them. The bigger your goals, the longer it will take to see results or fulfillment. Even a simple goal of weight loss can take several weeks for results to show, and several months to hit your target. I believe the most common reason people are not achieving their goals is not because they lack the knowledge of setting goals. It is because they lack the motivation to follow through on their goals long enough for results to show.

I am speaking from my own experiences. I have been setting goals for the past 7 years, and this habit has helped me a lot in whatever accomplishments that I have achieved financially, physically, and professionally till date. Yet I must confess that this has not been a smooth sailing ride. There were times when I just seem to lack the motivation to push myself towards my goals. Logically, I know that there I need to exercise at least 5 times a week to stay fit and healthy. I also know that I need to read widely or write more often. Yet logical thinking alone is seldom enough as a motivator.

There seems to be an opposing voice inside which is dissuading me. Sometimes it’s because I’m feeling discouraged from the lack of results. Sometimes, it’s because I’m feel really tired. Sometimes it’s simply because I’m feeling lazy. Whatever the reason, the feelings that I have are not aligned with my goals and what I know I must do.

I believe you have faced similar situations before. If that’s the case, read on; I have discovered through my own experiences and research, a way to motivate yourself towards your goals, without beating yourself up or feeling guilty about not acting.

YOUR EMOTIONS AS KEY (DE)MOTIVATORS.

You see, it’s really simple; it’s about your emotions. To the most basic level, humans are emotional creatures; it’s true. Whether you are a man or a woman, many of your day-to-day decisions are largely influenced by your emotions.

On days when you feel tired or unmotivated, you don’t feel like working out at the gym, even though you know you should. Moments like this reminds me of some Disney cartoons where there’s this little angel and little devil sitting on your shoulders. The angel will be telling you to do the things that you know you should. Whereas the little devil is dissuading you from doing it, and tempting you with goodies that you know you should not engage. Or the devil can be planting thoughts of self-doubt, telling you that you will not achieve anything, no point wasting your effort or time.

This internal struggle can be very draining both mentally and emotionally; that’s why some people give up on their goals. The struggle just seems too much to bear.

Realize that it’s your emotions that are not aligned with your goals that’s impeding your progress; feeling discouraged, drained, skeptical, lazy, guilty, and angry can all prevent you from taking relevant and necessary actions.

In order overcome a negative state of mind, simply replace negative emotions with positive ones that will propel you towards your goals. When you tune yourself into positive emotions, you’ll no longer have to force yourself to take actions; you simply desire to do it! When you generate strong positive emotions about your goals, you will naturally feel motivated; it’s like a warm, healthy feeling that’s boiling upwards from the bottom of your heart, filling to the brim, ready to overflow with positive desires. When you get yourself into such a state of mind, you just can’t wait to get into action!

FOCUS YOUR THOUGHTS ON POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Naturally, the next question is ‘How do I generate positive emotions?’

The key lies in choosing and focusing thoughts that will generate positive emotions.

Unlike animals, humans have awareness of our feelings and influencing it through our thoughts. That’s the reason why you don’t lash out at anyone just because you are angry. The difference lies in our freedom of choice in our thoughts over our feelings. It’s a unique gift of choice bestowed upon us.

When you have negative emotions, instead of accepting and going along with it; choose instead to focus on positive thoughts that will generate positive emotions. What do I mean by that?

Think about it, why did you set those goals in the first place? It’s because you desire something better than your current circumstances. That desire is the positive feeling that caused you to set these goals, and it can be the same force that drives you towards it.

For example, if your goal is to have an understanding and supportive relationship with your partner, your desire could be the warm and loving feeling when together. It’s a good feeling that makes you feel complete, appreciated, loved, and understood.

When there is a misunderstanding or argument with your partner, you will feel angry, misunderstood and unappreciated. Instead of focusing on these negative feelings, try focusing your thoughts on what you want out this relationship. Remember and rekindle the desires that you have for this relationship. Feel those positive feelings welling up from inside out.

When you have achieved a positive state of emotion, re-examine the current situation and you will be pleasantly surprised at your change in perspective towards the same situation! The reasons that made you felt misunderstood and unappreciated no longer matter. They seem so trivial and inconsequential when compared to your true desires.

With practice, you will be able to put yourself into a positive state of emotion and perspective which is conducive and aligned with your goals. In doing so, you will be able to self-motivate effectively where taking actions is no longer a matter of forcing yourself to do it; you will be motivated to take actions, because you desire to do so!

SETTING GOALS WITH EMOTIONAL LINKAGE

As mentioned earlier, one common stumbling block to achieving goals is sticking to them long enough for results to show. Common reasons why we fail to achieve our goals or give up are:

• Procrastination on taking actions.
• Negative feelings when meeting setback and failures midway.
• Self-doubt.

All these can be overcome if you link desires and positive emotions into your goals. When done correctly, these positive emotions will serve as powerful motivators.

For the purpose of illustrations, here are some goals I had:

• I will run at least 3 times a week to train for the Standard Chartered Run in Dec 2006.
• I will read 3 self-development books every month from January till December 2006 to improve my knowledge.
• I will have dinner with my family at least twice a week.
• I will save and invest to have $X by the end of 2006.

By the SMART standards, I will consider these to be already good goals. They are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant and Timed. Yet somehow, these goals seem somewhat flat and lack motivation; especially during times when I am feeling down.

To add a motivational dimension to these goals, I have amended them slightly as follows:

• I desire to run at least 3 times a week to train for the Standard Chartered Run in Dec 2006 because I desire the feeling of accomplishment of crossing the finishing line. I enjoy the cheers of the crowd at the finishing line. I desire the recognition and admiration of my friends for such an accomplishment.
• I desire to read 3 self-development books every month from January till December 2006 to improve my knowledge because I desire the respect and appreciation of being a person of high living standard and values. Helping myself and setting a good example allows me to help others; and when I see my work improve others’ life, it makes me feel my life is meaningful and complete.
• I desire to have dinner with my family at least twice a week because I desire the connection and interaction with my family. I love the support and understanding that family gives to me.
• I desire to save and invest to have $X by the end of 2006 because I desire the freedom that this money will allow me to have; the freedom to pursue what I love to do; to write, to express myself, and meaningful.

As you can see, the goals remain largely the same; the only changes I did were to add in the emotional drivers behind these goals, and changed “will” to “desire”.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to writing the motivations. What motivates me may not motivate you, and vice versa.

The important thing is that whatever you write down must be something that is true to your heart, and that it can rekindles your positive desires whenever you focus on it. The only way to validate whether it is correct is through your own emotions.

Don’t be too concern about not getting it right the first time. Keep revisiting these goals and amending them as you feel the need to. Like all matters of the heart, it cannot be fully rationalized but you will know it when you get it.

USING YOUR MOTIVATIONAL GOALS EVERYDAY

Once you have these goals written down, keep them somewhere you can easily access them. For me, I choose to keep them in my MS Outlook folder, because I will get to access them as I handle my emails daily. You may want to write them out on a piece of paper and paste them on a vision board where you can see everyday.

Cultivate a good habit of visiting your goals frequently, at least on a weekly basis. This will help to keep you on track and focused.

To motivate yourself, find yourself a quiet and comfortable place where you will not be disturbed for 5 to 10 minutes.

1. Relax and slow yourself down. You should not rush through this.
2. Clear your thoughts of other clutters. Relax.
3. Read your goals and focus on your desires for each goal.
4. Visualize yourself achieving the goals.
5. Feel the positive emotions that come with these accomplishments.
6. Allow these emotions to grow and “swell” inside you.

By the end of this short session, you will achieve a conducive and positive state of mind that will enable you to take actions towards your goals. For those 5 minutes of relaxation and focus, you will achieve a state of effectiveness which enables you to deliver much, much more actions and results than just trudging on for hours without motivation.

You can also do this whenever you face challenges, defeat, failures, and self-doubt.

With practice, you will be able to easily put yourself into a positive state of mind necessary to take actions. Your actions will help you to accomplish small successes. Building your success upon success, your confidence will grow; over time, procrastination, self-doubt, fear of failure will fade away.

In such a way, success is thus guaranteed, and it is only a matter of time that you fully fulfill your goals and desires.

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