Top 5 Conversation Starters
October 25, 2007
Photo by SpAvAAi
Throughout my work experiences, I often have to attend meetings with clients and social events such as conferences, seminars, dinners; professional settings which requires me to interact with new people but don’t allow me to be the truly funky, hunky dory self that I usually am 
. I believe you’ll agree the challenges of attending functions filled with strangers. It can be a very uncomfortable feeling. The unsettling silence after the ‘Hi, nice to meet you’ can be very awkward; as you desperately search for a topic to start the conversation.
Here, I provide some great conversation starters that works for me.
The Weather - I know, it’s so cliché; I used to feel the same way too. But hey, it works! The weather can lead to interesting conversations, especially with foreign visitors. I remember asking about the weather to a client from London (I’m located in Singapore, where it’s summer all year round). The conversation later lead to her house being invaded by a recent flood a couple of weeks back then. That lead to the cleaning up, the damages blah, blah, blah…. Another time I was chatting with a colleague from the Netherlands, and the weather topic popped up. She lamented that it was zero degree Celsius and that the office heater system wasn’t working. Great!
Where Are You From - Again, another one that works really well for foreigners. It’s just so easy for someone to talk about their own country, interest, culture, people etc etc etc… And then take the conversation from there.
What’s Their Business - You’re there to network right? So ask what business he/she’s in. Does he/she provide any service you need? Does he/she has a need you can fulfill? Don’t understand what their business is about? Even better! Ask him/her to explain the business to you. That’ll start a conversation for sure.
What’s Their Interest - ‘What do you do outside of work?’ It’s a easy conversation starter because it’s easy to reply to. Surely there must be something that he/she is interested in? Reading, cycling, running, sleeping, blogging blah, blah, blah. If you’re into the same interest, great! Share tips and exchange pointers. If you’re not into the same interest, even better! Ask them what his/her interest is all about and take it from there.
The Hot Topic In Town - Ask if he/she has watched the latest blockbuster movie in town, or talk about latest iPhone gadget launch. Just be careful that you don’t dive into the dangerous topics of religion, politics, or office gossip, as it may just easily backfire with the wrong words or audience. I had one experience talking to a middle-age woman about the new Harry Potter’s book launch. She said ‘yes, I know about the launch’. I said ‘yeah, those stupid kids are queuing up overnight for the book’. She then told me her son was one of those who queued for the book. Duh!
Ultimately a conversation starter is just an ice-breaker, that’s all. As stupid and cliché as they may seem sometimes, they are a good means to starting a nice conversation; so go along with it. It’s better than counting seconds into that awkward silence, isn’t it? Don’t worry, you won’t sound cliché even though these conversation starters are.
Do you have any conversation starter to share?
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I never stick to a set of conversation starters!
This is a good post indeed!
As in me as a college student, I always asked about what course they are in and there goes my flow of what I wanted to study for but I don’t have the finance and chance!
Maybe it will be useful for me in two years time!
When I am out to work!
Hi Broken,
I too started out without conversation starters, and never saw the need for them, even when I was working. That was until I saw how easily some of my colleagues just get into conversations with strangers. Now, I’m a convert, who believes in conversation starters.
I personally think that I’m such a busybody that I don’t stick to any one or a few topic starters. I can just think about something to talk about, and I will customize that topic to suit the occasion, ambience, and of course, the person I am talking to.
Lucky you Pelf!
You must be one of those gifted people who can pick a conversation with just anyone
some nice simple tips to get starting… i always find hard break the ice but once off , it becomes easy
Nicely said Simon,
indeed, my experience also says that the ice breaking is the tough portion. Once you’re onto a common topic, the rest is easier.
I used to live by conversation starters. Now I don’t. I think if you’re not good at talking to strangers this can be good. But once you’re comfortable with it, you can talk about just about anything. Usually, what one should focus on (along with the conversation) is the non-verbals such as their body language and voice tonality. 93% of our communication are the non-verbal communication.
Indeed JC, for it’s a natural gift.
Things that we do easily are those that we usually take for granted. As such, you may not see or fully appreciate the challenges or importance of starting conversations easily.
Dale Carnegie, who wrote ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ confessed that he was once a very poor communicator. This prompted him to write this best selling book.
I hope this gives assurance to many who have challenges carrying a conversation with strangers.
A favorite of mine: referring to another person that is present, for example a speaker at a conference or someone your target was talking to before. Starters could be “Have you met X before” or “Have you heard X speak before”, “Did you read X’s book”, etc. This can lead to a conversation about a topic X is known for. I find this a great way to break the ice and get to on-topic discussions during work related events.
I also use a variant during birthday parties: “How do you know X?”, where X is the birthday boy/girl.
Thanks Xaphire,
I think this is a nice conversation starter to add to my arsenal.