(Photo by lhuiz)

I once met a client from Australia. She is a very capable lady who holds herself well in professional settings. There is also something about the way she carries herself, which sets her apart from the others; something that makes me conclude that she is going to achieve something great in her career in the future: she is in harmony with herself and others.

What do I mean by that?

To be successful in your career, you need to be seen as capable and yet not threatening.

This is one statement she made which left a lasting impression on me. I still remember it today and it pretty much sums up the idea of harmony that I am talking about today.

HARMONY – A CRITICAL ATTRIBUTE

At work, it’s common to run into disagreement with others; clients, vendors, peers and even superiors. The critical attribute for professional success depends on how well you handle disagreements and ability to get along with people despite the differences in mindsets and opinions.

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This blog is about leading a balanced life focusing on career, relationships and money. You can read more about balancing your life here. These articles are written for you. If you find them useful, feel free to subscribe for regular updates as new articles are posted. It's FREE. :)

(Photo by chrischapman)

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me for some career advice. She was being poached by another company and they were offering her a huge increment to move over. From a pay check perspective, it was a very tempting offer. It would have taken my friend a few years of increment at her current company to even out the offer from the new company.

Even then, we discussed at length and in the end she didn’t take up the offer. You may be wondering why not? My aim today is to share with you the key points of that discussion.

A job switch is something that most of us will encounter at least a few times during the course of our working life. A decision to change our job is often accompanied by conflicting push/pull factors and fear of stepping into the unknown. Based on my experiences with switching jobs, I know that it can be an unnerving experience.

When presented with a job offer and a huge increment, the natural inclination is to take it. Of course, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. However, besides money, there are other considerations that you need to take before coming to a decision. Most of you are wise enough to know that the huge increment alone cannot be the sole consideration.

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Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s facing up to it.

When I hear the word ‘courage’, scenes of Tom Cruise in ‘The Last Samurai’ and Tom Hanks in ‘Saving Private Ryan’ often come to mind. Thanks to our Hollywood blockbusters, the term ‘courage’ conjures images of a hero standing up to overwhelming adversity, fighting a much stronger enemy, or putting oneself in a dangerous situation for a greater good.

The consequence of such messaging is that we tend to overlook subtle acts of courage in our lives.

Merriam-Webster defines courage as:

mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

With this understanding, facing up to fear and challenges in very mundane situations can be considered courageous as well. It may not be as heroic as what you see in the movies; it is courage nonetheless. This realization is important because there seems to be a prevailing notion that average folks like you and me are living in circumstances which does not call for us to be courageous.

As such, we stop being courageous; we stop living up to a higher standard or calling inside us. It’s a slow desensitization to good human qualities and resignation to a life of mediocrity.

We have courageous people around us. It’s just so subtle that you do not notice it. Perhaps, even the person him/herself may not realize they are displaying courage. I hope to create awareness of these good qualities happening around us, so that they can be encouraged, emulated and propagated.

Here’s 3 ways that you too, can be courageous when at work:

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Photo by Ebeth

Let’s test your creativity. I am going to tell you a real story, a problem; let’s see if you can derive a creative solution to this problem.

There was a hotel; a grand, historical five star hotel established since the 1940s. Everything was great about the hotel; posh, grand, cozy and all, except for one thing. The old elevators were too old and too slow. These were the very first batch of elevators designed for high rise building installed more than 40 years ago. It was taking too long to reach the customers in the upper floors, and the hotel management was getting a lot of complaints about the slow elevators.

The hotel management called in the engineers and they proposed two solutions:

1. To change the existing elevators to the latest, faster models.
2. To add more elevators to the hotel.

Both options would cost the hotel management a hefty sum which was way beyond their budget. Can you think of any other solution to this problem?

You Are A Creative Genius

When we talk about creativity, we think of names like Leonardo Da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Picasso… Some think that being creative is a gift that is limited to the blessed few, but it is not. Everybody has creativity in them, and it can be harnessed with the proper process or steps, which I have learned and will share with you today.

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Throughout my work experiences, I often have to attend meetings with clients and social events such as conferences, seminars, dinners; professional settings which requires me to interact with new people but don’t allow me to be the truly funky, hunky dory self that I usually am . I believe you’ll agree the challenges of attending functions filled with strangers. It can be a very uncomfortable feeling. The unsettling silence after the ‘Hi, nice to meet you’ can be very awkward; as you desperately search for a topic to start the conversation.

Here, I provide some great conversation starters that works for me.

The Weather - I know, it’s so cliché; I used to feel the same way too. But hey, it works! The weather can lead to interesting conversations, especially with foreign visitors.

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How many times have you got yourself into a fix because you did not say ‘no’ to someone’s request? On the other hand, how many times have you regretted saying ‘no’ because you got into trouble by being too forward when rejecting a request? In either case, it seems that we’re on the losing end whether we accept or reject a request.

I, for one have found saying ‘no’ to be quite challenging. Logically, I know that I need to stay focus on my priorities; yet I still find myself saying ‘yes’ to things that I regret later.

Over the years of my working life, I have learned that it is not only important to say ‘no’, but it must be said with empathy to be heard and accepted. With experience and tact, sometimes it’s possible to reject or move away from a request without having to say ‘no’ directly.

PAYING THE PRICE FOR NOT SAYING ‘NO’

In my work on project management, one constant challenge was handling clients’ change requests i.e. handle additional requests beyond initial agreed scope. When I first got into the role of project manager, I took the easy way out of acceding to most change requests blindly because it was hard for me to say ‘no’ to my clients.

Naturally, the clients were satisfied at first, but it was at the price of my team members’ welfare and support. Over time, the change requests became too much to handle, the dateline was drawing near and the project nowhere near completion. My team was overworked from the tasks piled up. I’m sure you can imagine the rude awakening to my clients when I failed to deliver as promised on the dateline.

In all my good intentions to impress and please, the final result was a great disaster with damaged reputation, lost clients and worn out team who will no longer trust my leadership.

On hindsight, it’s pretty clear what a dumb fool I had been. I had since learned and moved on, but the sad truth is that I can still see or hear similar stories very often in different aspect of life and work; stories of paying a higher price later because of one’s inability to say ‘no’ upfront.

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A recent post by Steve Pavlina on authenticity strikes a chord in me, and prompted me to write this article. In his post, Steve talks about the importance of authenticity in what he considers good blogging.

It helps me realize the reason why I (and many others) have always enjoyed his posts. Steve is a living example of authenticity. Through his writings, I can almost feel his presence and his sincerity. He may be an expert in self improvement, but he is also very forward about his weaknesses, negative emotion and imperfection; he does not try to be Mr. Perfect. In essence, he is very human.

Ironically, such authenticity helps us to relate to Steve’s writings and his philosophies, which I believe contributed largely to his success as a blogger.

I like to extend Steve’s argument beyond blogging/writing into career and business life.

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(Photo by bookchiq)

Let’s do a little poll here; have you ever wish that you have more time? Yes? Read on.

It’s not surprising to me. I’m one of those who wished I have more time too. The modern life today is filled with so many demands from multiple sources and people; you may be struggling to juggle demands between your clients, bosses, team members, peers etc etc etc… The buzzword at work is “multitasking”. It seems like what originated from the computing world now applies to humans as well. I see it on job descriptions quite a lot. They might as well go buy some computers instead of hiring people.

Simply because you are trying to juggle between some many roles and their associated demands, your task list grows at a rate beyond what you are capable of handling alone. So what results is some (or maybe a lot of) frustrations and disappointments. Thus it’s natural that many people (including myself) are wishing that we have more time.

Well, the mentality behind this is that having more time allows us to finish these “to-dos”. But let’s sit down and think for a second. Does having more time really help?

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(Photo by Verun*)

This seems like an oxymoron, isn’t it. If you aren’t attached to your job, how can you be committed and perform your best at it? Well, I am speaking from my personal experience, and it has certainly worked well for me so far. Let me explain…

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(Photo by mnemophobe)

In this day and age, most of us are wearing many hats at the same time. At the most basic level, you are someone’s son/daughter, boy/girl friend, husband/wife, father/mother, and also your professional role. For some, the list of roles that you take on in life is even longer; but the most basic list alone is already a great challenge to juggle.

Each of these roles places many demands for your time and energy. Sometimes, these demands conflicts with each other and you find yourself stuck in between, trying to fulfill your obligations to these roles at the same time.

One common challenge is being a working mother. The needs from your family and your career places huge demands on your attention, time and energy. How do you manage between a forthcoming product launch (which requires you working late nights), and spending quality time with your husband and kids?

Another common challenge; how do you spend quality time with friends and maintain frequent contacts, while you are busy building (or slogging) a high-flying career?

Is it true that you cannot have your cake and eat it? Well, I like to believe that you can. As long as you have the correct mindset, knowledge and tools. By the end of this article, you will learn the steps necessary to focus on the different important roles in your life, and to be able to successfully balance between the demands of these roles.

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