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Can money buy happiness? If money can really buy happiness, how much would it cost?

Of course, there’s a lot of things that money can’t buy. Saying money can buy happiness does sound superficial. Perhaps to some, money and happiness are two concepts that should not even be talked about together. Well, that’s exactly contrary to what I think - money and happiness has A LOT to do with each other!

In this last part of Money Mindset Series, I like to sum up by talking about money and its relations to two important areas of our life: career and relationships .

Before I carry on, I like to qualify that I’m not the mercenary sort who believes that having lots of money equals having happiness. I do agree that money cannot buy happiness. However, in our world today, money has a lot of influences on other areas of life which leads to fulfillment.

The chart below shows the positive influence that you will have on career and relationships when you manage your money well. I will elaborate on them next.

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This blog is about leading a balanced life focusing on career, relationships and money. You can read more about balancing your life here. These articles are written for you. If you find them useful, feel free to subscribe for regular updates as new articles are posted. It's FREE. :)

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I started this blog with the intention to provide my insights on living a balanced life through personal development. Over time, I have crystallized this mission into the three-legged stool concept.

The diagram shows a three-legged stool: my depiction of a balanced life. Each leg of the stool is a key pillar needed for life fulfillment as follows:

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In his article Tackle Any Issue With a List of 100, Luciano shows us how to tackle any issue with a list of 100 possible solutions.

Today, I like to share a list of 100 great personal development resources to improve your Career, Relationships and Money - in accordance with the aim of A Long Long Road. So, here goes:

CAREER AND WORK

Work In General

1. Should You Report Sexual Harassment in the Workplace - well, the title speaks for itself.
2. Should I Report Ethical Misconduct At Work? - we all may face this judgment call in one point or another in our career. Should we report it?
3. Why do Some People Consistently Inspire Others to Follow Their Lead? - some qualities of great leaders to inspire you.

Career

4. Telework is Good for You - teleworking can really help to strike the work life balance, when done properly.
5. How To Stop Being So Afraid Of Changing Careers - changing career may be a very scary thing, but it’s can also bring a lot of happiness and fulfillment if done correctly. So how do you take this brave step?
6. Exploring Career Choices - what are the career choices to a great life? This articles shows you the considerations to help you think it through.
7. Accessing the Hidden Job Market - other than the normal job agencies and classified ads, there are other hidden channels to seeking a new job. Here are some tips about hidden job market.
8. One Critical Factor That Will Make Or Break Your Career - no matter how great you are at work, you will not be professionally successful without this.
9. What Is Most Likely To Help You Reach The Top? - a similar theme to the previous post.
10. Top 5 Reasons to Quit a Job - common reasons to quit your job, and dealing with them.
11. How to Sell Yourself (and Why Your Career Depends On It) - it’s true, no matter how great you are at your job. Nobody’s going to know about it until you do a little self-marketing. Here’s some tips to do it correctly.
12. 10 Tips for a Successful Meeting With The Boss - when meeting with your boss, you need to be prepare to save his/her time and leave a good impression. Here’s 10 tips to help you along.
13. What To Do When The Recruiter Calls - we all faced this at one point or another in our career, a recruiter. Here’s how to handle the recruiter.

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Ladies, have you ever wondered why your man sometimes just draws a distance from you and lock himself up emotionally? He does not want to spend time with you, is easily distracted and when you ask “Honey, are you alright? Is something bothering you?” He simply says “No, everything is fine.”

However, all the signs tells you that something is NOT right. He’s not the usual understanding and loving self anymore…

When this happens, wild thoughts starts running in your mind:

• Did I do or say something wrong?
• Is he angry with me?
• Is there a problem with our relationship?
• He doesn’t love me anymore?

You may also feel guilty or fearful about hurting him unknowingly. As such, you pursue and ask more questions, hoping to probe the answers from him. However, the more you probe, and more he draws himself away. After a few attempts, you start to feel angry about his unwillingness to communicate.

I also have this tendency to shut myself up sometimes, and it took my wife and I some time to understand what’s going on and work it out. A lot of times when I shut myself up, I wasn’t aware of it or the effects it had on my wife. It was only after many years of dating and reading about relationships that helped us to understand what is really going on from both perspectives.

Here are 6 tips to help ladies react when your man shuts himself up:

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I once attended a seminar by John Gray, best-selling author of Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus. John shared with us how man and woman are wired differently from a psychological perspective, and therefore communicate in very different manners.

During the seminar, John asked for two married man as volunteers; David was married only for 3 months, and Peter was married for 12 years. John asked both men the following question:

John: “Let’s say there’s one evening where you are going to attend a formal dinner or function together. You are dressed in your suit, reading the newspaper while waiting for your wife to doll up. She appears at the doorway, dressed in a fabulous pink gown. Your wife holds up two pair of heels; one white, one pink, and she says, ‘Honey, which pair of shoes looks good on me?’ What do you say?”

David (3 months married): “I will say choose the pink one.”

John: “Why…?” (Throwing naughty glances at the audience)

David: “Because it matches the color of the dress.”

John: “Wrong answer! (Turning to Peter) What would you say Peter?”

Peter (12 years married): “I will say ‘You look fabulous in any of them, Honey’”

John: “Correct!” (The audience burst into laughter and applauded Peter’s answer…)

HANDLING WOMEN’S QUESTIONS – MEN’S FRUSTRATIONS

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When a relationship first started, it is usually accompanied by hot passion and sizzling romance. It fills you up, and you feel like you’re at the top of the world. It’s indeed a great feeling to have another person’s unconditional love and full attention.

However, over time, this feeling wades. The relationship matures into something more stable, less sensational. People simply get use to each other, and the bursting emotional scale recedes back to normal range.

This is a normal relationship cycle. A sustainable long term relationship does not necessarily mean you are constantly feeling ‘high’ with love. On the other hand, it does not mean that we should allow the romance to degenerate into a monotonous, mundane issue between two people.

Having being with my wife for 10 years already, we have pretty much experienced most of the highs and lows. One thing we consciously make an effort to do is to make sure the romance does not wither or fade away as the years go by.

Rekindling the romance in a long term relationship does take some effort from both parties. It means setting aside time and effort from your busy schedule to maintain and invigorate the relationship.

Here are some tips we constantly use to rekindle the romance:

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Some months back, my friend Jennifer (not real name) filed for divorce. She and her husband met in college and had dated for many years before they finally decided to tie the knot. The divorce ended more than 10 years of relationship and times shared together. To our circle of friends, this came as a big surprise. After all these years, how could they end it just like that? What came as a bigger surprise was that a 3rd party had catalyzed the divorce; it was a scandalous affair. There was an outcry amongst our outspoken friends. The others quietly cast their judgmental eyes on Jennifer’s divorce and her new relationship.

As objective as I think I am, I must confess that I was guilty of jumping into such judgments initially. In an Asian culture, a divorce is still considered a social taboo by many people. The fact that Jennifer initiated the divorce because of an affair certainly didn’t help her, and added to negative judgments on her character and new relationship.

It would be easy for us to walk away from this episode labeling Jennifer as a frivolous woman. But then, would that be a fair or complete conclusion?

Recently I met Jennifer and noticed a glow in her; something she had lost gradually over the years, without us realizing it. She had regained her confidence that I last saw since college days. She was back to her confident self and full of live.

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The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.
- Alexandria Penney

I have been married with my wife for 3 years already. Prior to our marriage, we dated for 7 years. A relationship that has run for 10 years is long indeed. Looking back on this journey, it’s amazing that we’ve had less than a dozen arguments or a big fight within this long time and we’re still going strong

It’s sad sometimes seeing couples bickering over mundane issues like, ‘where to have dinner’, ‘what color of furniture to buy’ or ‘where to go for honeymoon’. They’re really missing the bigger perspective of what’s truly important.

I hope these personally proven tips will prove useful in building a long term relationship with the one you love.

Grow Together - 10 years is a long time, and people can outgrow each other. Ideals, principles, values can change and divert, if not managed. That’s why people grow apart. Spend time together to talk about life, about what’s important to each other. Understand each other’s priorities. Growing together helps ensue you stay together.

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I have always thought that I am NOT a morning person. Just 4 months ago, I was still used to waking up at around noon time on weekends and find it a challenge waking up on time for work on weekdays. The idea of people getting up at 5am was really ridiculous to me. To me, staying up late till 12 am, sometimes 1am, is not uncommon. In fact, I considered myself more effective and alert to work from 11 pm onwards when there’s little disturbance. To people around me, I am a night person, not a morning person.

In general, such labeling and lifestyle wasn’t much of an issue for me; and I never really considered the notion of ‘converting’ to a morning person.

Coincidently, 4 months ago, I came across Steve Pavlina’s article on How to Become An Early Riser. Intrigued, but not expecting too much out of it, I decided to try it out.

Amazingly, it’s been 4 months since I tried out Steve’s tips and I never really got back to my night person lifestyle. Nowadays, I go around professing to be a morning person. Well, I must admit I have been ‘converted’.

Even though it’s just 4 short months, the differences this change in lifestyle has made are subtle yet amazing. I can already see tangible results and positive differences this has done for my life. It’s great just imagining how these results will further benefit me once compounded over time.

As such, with this intention in mind, I like to share these benefits for your consideration.

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